Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Juice's Goaltending Rankings: Stanley Cup Playoff Edition

Ladies and gentlemen, start your Zambonis- we are headed into the Playoffs where everything you knew about Hockey 2 days ago has been laid out like a two dollar hooker in front of a Datsyukian Deke.

Ahem. I do get carried away, don’t I?

Well then. Because this hockey blogger will consistently tell you that she thinks goaltending makes and breaks a playoff run, as I see it there is only one position worth ranking.

Got a favorite goalie? So did the Steve Mason Fan Club last year. This is Playoff Season and the rules change. So take all those lovely regular season stats, and all the ESPN highlight reels (it’s a joke people everyone knows there are no ESPN Highlight reels of the NHL) and set them aside.

I think you will be surprised, I know you’ll have something to say. So here is my list:

16. Boucher (Flyers). GAAACK. When he’s good, he is very very good, but when he chokes, he falls to pieces. Look I love Boooooch too, I really really do. But his talent is inconsistent and I think we are past the point where we can think its going to mature. He’s in his own head and it’s a mess in there.

15. Elliot (Sens). I confess I know nothing about him. But he can’t be more inconsistent than Boooooch.

14. Halak (Habs).  Solid all year and he’s hot right now, but that is about it. A good solid regular season netminder that is unproven and under the radar, for good reason.

13. Theodore (Caps). There is a reason the Avs let him go, and it ain’t because of the rumor that he shares a Valtrex prescription with Paris Hilton. He is not a clutch goalie. Sorry Caps- you aren’t going to see the shiny side of the Prince of Wales this year. It’s gonna be the Pens or Sabres in the east, unless someone else gets their shit together.

12. Tuuka Rask (Bruins). Tuuka is markedly better than TT has been this year, and I know he’s got the hot numbers, but he has a weak glove side and is unproven in the playoffs.

11. Niemi-Huet (Hawks). Either or, doesn’t matter. Neither can get the job done. Probably the Hawk’s weakest link, and I predict they will fall apart in the second round because of goaltending. If Renne gets hot – look for round 1 to go 7 games. If Round 1 goes 4 games, build a shrine to Scotty Bowman because he is a God.

10. Quick (Kings). Johnny has been solid for 2 years and defied all expectations. He could easily be ranked higher than Renne, Luongo and Anderson. This LA team is busting out of the gate, the LA Defense is solid and provides great support. The trust and the cooperation amongst these LA Kings will surprise many in this Playoff Season.

9. Anderson (Avs). Craig Anderson has kept his Avs in it all year. If he shakes out of his recent slump, he should be stellar.

8. Pekka Renne (Preds). Now. Renne can steal a game from anyone, maybe even a series. He’s often flawless. Lucky for Arnott Erat and Weber, who cannot carry this team past round one without perfect play by Renne.

7. ‘Berto “LOOOO” uongo (Nucks). See comments on Nabby. So far unable to lead his team beyond early rounds. Questions in the clutch. Not even giving him credit for the Olympics because he should be better than he is. Inconsistency mars his brilliance. That is all.

6. Bryz (‘Yotes). Yea I gotta say it. He’s been solid all year and I think he has it in him to shift into super human playoff goaltender. Good thing his D sucks.

5. Nabby (Sharks). Sorry Nabs. I love you and will never forget that 2008 Dallas-Sharks series, but until you get the job done, you are a second rounder.

4. “Jimmah” Dynomite Howard (Wings). Because when the time came to step the “eff” up and save the Wings season, he rose with the best of the best. Plus he beat the crap out of Crybaby. He is sofaking ready! He’s hot, seemingly tireless and un-phased and he has Ozzie mentoring the shit out of him and- of course- all that Detroit Mojo. The only reason he’s below Brody is that he’s unproven.

3. Brody (Devils). He gets his ranking based on lifetime achievement. That said, I don’t think he will see the dark side of the second round. I think we are witnessing the decline of a great. Then again he could totally prove me wrong. No one ever really knows with Mart-aaaan.

2. Hobie (Sabres). Because he is a god among men, he’s coming off a stellar Olympics and he’s got something to prove. We are seeing Miller at his best right now- Don’t fuck it up for him Sabres.

1. Marc Andre Fleury (Pens). Yea I hate it too, but he’s coming of two years of stellar performances and a Cup. He’s stronger and more mature this year. I’m even betting he won’t trip over the boards on his way to the net this year.


Best Goalie who isn’t in the playoffs? Jonas Hiller. And every team in the west should be thanking their lucky ducks for that.

Friday, April 2, 2010

Osgood’s Razor.

Occam’s Razor: pluralitas non est ponenda sine necessitate. Wiley E. Ken-otye, E. Pluribus Unum, Super Genius, Esq.

There are some fans so unwaveringly loyal that they cannot bring themselves to address the elephant on the Zamboni.

There are some fans so hopelessly devoted (oh yea I went there. Grease is the word people.)

So hopelessly devoted that they are incapable of even refusing to see the face off circle for the hash marks.

There are some fans so ultra appreciative of the 16+ incredible years of loyal, devoted, tireless, talented, clutch, ass saving, season saving, playoff hopes saving, Stanley Cup winning goaltending that they won’t ever utter a discouraging word. (Oh yes now I’m pulling on your Americana-loving heartstrings. And yes you will continue to take it.)

But all things being equal, the simplest answer is probably the best one.

Osgood’s Razor. pluralitas non est ponenda sine necessitate.

  • 732 games played in the NHL, 90(ish)% of those as a Detroit Red Wing
  • 16 Seasons as an NHL goaltender, 13 of those as a Detroit Red Wing
  • 396 Wins in the NHL, 10th on the NHL’s goaltending “all time wins” list
  • Lifetime Goals Against 2.96 (2.06 in the playoffs)
  • Lifetime Save % 90.6 (91.6 in the playoffs)
  • 3 Stanley Cups
  • Second Goaltender in history to score a goal
  • 3 time NHL All Star
  • 2 time Winner of the William Jennings
  • Pugilist extraordinaire
  • Loyal appreciative devoted fan of the City of Detroit and her people.
If you don't think those stats and acomplishments match up or even compare with the likes of Martin Brodeur, Patrick Wah, Dominic Hasek, think again. Chris Osgood (as I have said before) is a HHOF earning NHL goaltender whose career numbers place him squarely in with some of the very best.
But beginning in January of the 2008-2009 season Wings fans watched Oz begin to struggle. And no one was harder on the Wiz, than Ozzie himself. But then come April, the Wiz snapped back to the form we all know, expect and extol in the playoffs, probably singlehandedly kept our battered, shanked, bludgeoned, concussed and speared Wings in it all the way through 7 games in the Stanley Cup Finals. Doing everything he could to bring an 12th Stanley Cup home to Detroit. 

And then it all seemed to fall to hell again in this 2009-2010 season. So much so that by mid-January 2010 some unwaveringly loyal, hopelessly devoted, ultra appreciative fans held their breathe, and tried to find answers.

“He must be injured”.

“The defense plays looser, differently, in front of Oz, they expect him to save their asses.”

“Detroit is notoriously hard on its goaltenders.”

“Ozzie just needs a little break, get his head on straight.”

And my personal favorite:

“This is all Babcock’s fault.”

It was at the point where I started to accuse Coach Babs of “punishment benching” Ozzie; of washing his hands of him at the first sign of struggle, age; of casting Ozzie aside when he no longer performed at the highest level (like it seemed he had done with Cheli) that I (a) got pissed, and (b) realized I wasn’t even slightly objective on the matter.

Look.  I am not a huge fan of the Babcockean “I’ll bench you until you get your shit together, just try me.” style of coaching, even when it works, mainly because he seems to hold a grudge for a really long time which can really fuck with a player and it all seems a bit too much alpha dog chest puffing for my sensibilities . You may think I am too much of a girl on this matter, but  I doubt any Wings fan would disagree with the observation that once Mike Babcock gets pissed at you, it is insanely difficult to get out of that doghouse.

So when Ozzie was giving up soft goal after soft goal, night after night, and Jimmy Howard was not, there was no way I could blame Babs for putting the hot goalie in. Plus Jimmy earned his chance, all those years of patiently waiting in the minors, buying wholeheartedly into the Red Wing Organization’s system deserves to be rewarded. JMFH is proving himself every bit as trusting, smart, loyal, talented as the Wings told us he would be, and it truly is time to give him his shot and reward him.

But this isn’t about “Jimmy MF Howard”. its about Oz.

Once we entered the backstretch of this year’s season and night after night Babs played Jimmah, and Ozzie sat on the bench, I began to fret. Sure we had to, Ozzie had been too inconsistent early on in this season, and we were perilously close to missing the playoffs for the first time in 19 years. Too much was at stake.

But concerns arose as Jimmy Howard goes unrested week after week. I began to think, "Babs better not burn Jimmy out before Playoffs."  "Ozzie is gonna get rusty!" and my personal favorite: “Stop punishing Ozzie at the expense of Jimmy.”

Then I thankfully remembered that I do not know more than any coach, trainer, owner, VP, or even used mouthguard in the Red Wing Organization, and am in fact a maroon (a meringue even)  for even acting as though I have ultra special, insight or knowledge about anything.  

Chris Osgood playing in only one game since January 27th isn’t about Babs using punishment as a weapon. If it were punishment benching, they would have cut Ozzie or sent him to the Griffins until he got his shit together. And if it were an injury, he’d long ago have been placed on IR.

It left only one heartbreaking question:  Have the Red Wings have given up on Ozzie?  A thought which fills my eyes with tears and puts a lump in my throat the size of mom’s cream of wheat.

We who call ourselves Detroit Red Wings and Detroit Red Wings fans, have NO RIGHT to give up on Chris Osgood. We have no right to turn our backs. We have no right to ignore the devotion, adoration, and love Chris Osgood gives the City and her hockey fans year upon year. We have no right to forget all he has give us.

And he has given us his all. Heck, he doesn’t even appear to be upset. he smiles, sings Howard's praises, and sheepishly only suggests he hopes to get to that 400 game milestone. He certainly isn’t blaming his bosses. Instead he takes any blame doled out on his own shoulders and instead praises the efforts of his goaltending partner. Chris Osgood is Jimmy Howard’s biggest fan, and the most amazing mentor the “kid” could ask for.

What? A senior goaltender with the lifetime stats and achievement of a HHOF candidate, riding the bench for months isn't bitter and defeated? isn't looking to be traded? Isn't whining to the press?

What's he doing? Mentoring the rookie who took his place, enjoying the kid's success', singing his praises?

That is exactly what is going on. Chris Osgood is front and center, part of a New World Goaltending Order, (a Red World Order, perhaps??) revolutionizing the psychology affecting goaltending teams in the NHL- or at least he is the very best example we have of it out there.No rookie goaltender has a better example of character, experience, talent, compassion and heart than Jimmy Howard does in Ozzie.

Proving once again, even when bench for half the season, even facing an uncertain goaltending future, Chris Osgood gives the Red Wings and her fans everything he can, everything we will accept.

Mr. Ilitch knows it, Wyle-Kenotye knows it, Stevie Y. knows it, the Red Wing Organization knows it. And so should you.

I think you’ll be surprised by what I am about to write. Because my conclusion, my raison d’writing isn’t to conclude that Ozzie is done for, used up, cast aside. my raison d'writing isn't to chastise you into remembering all Oz gave us.

Rather my point is this: Chris Osgood's current circumstance is less about Ozzie's horrible year and more about the Detroit Red Wing Organization's shining example of what makes it the very best organization, top to bottom, in the NHL, and I dare say, even in all of professional sports.

Because I sincerely think that Ozzie is sitting the bench, rather than being traded away, sent to the minors, or placed on IR because Mr. Ilitch and Kenny Holland have made him a Red Wing for life. And if I am being ultra hopeful, i think that he is being groomed for future Red Wing goal tending coach possibilities. Or bullpen catcher for the Tigers.

But I am getting ahead of myself. Right now, here, the epiphany I have had when trying to sort through the mess that is Chris Osgood's 2009-2010 season is that the RWO must have made Ozzie a Wing for life.

Like they did with Stevie Y. Like they must have done for NicLids, like I hope they have done with Kris Draper and Kirk Maltby and Brian Rafalski.

I hope that the RWO has told Chris that as long as he wants to be a Red Wing, he is a Red Wing.

All things being equal, it’s the simplest answer.

Because when you give your heart and soul to the Red Wing Organization and her fans and city, when you devote yourself to the organizational mission, cause and goals and when you achieve the results Chris Osgood has as a Detroit Red Wing, Mr. Ilitch and Mr. Holland reward you. Maybe even Babs too.

If I am right, then Chris Osgood may only be second to Steve Yzerman, as a shining example of the way the RWO takes care of those who take care of us.  To clarify- please understand this is not a comparison to Steve Yzerman's contribution and loyalty to the RWO and all of Hockey. At best Osgood's example is a nod to the influence the best captain to ever live has had on his team mates.


Of course, its all speculation. I have never heard anyone in the RWO (either the“Red World Order”, or the Red Wings Org.) suggest, intimate, or even say Ozzie is a Wing for life, and I have never heard any reporter even theorize about it. It’s just the simplest answer when you look at all Ozzie has given and when you factor the way the RWO handles its business, its family.

Speculation aside, I can promise you this. If there comes a time in this year's playoffs where Jimmah trips up, gets hurt, or his youth and inexperience overcome his talent, if there comes a time in this year’s playoffs where the Wings find their advancement chances on the ropes, look to the Red Wing goal, and I guarantee you’ll find the Wings once more relying on the toughest clutch playoff goalie the NHL may have ever seen.

Ozzie, a Wing for Life? Osgood’s razor, its the simplest answer.

Nobody Beats the Wiz.