Hockey Musing on this Week of Hallowed Eves.

The Juice is Loose…

Zombie Alert: Jamie Langenbrunner Is Mostly Dead To Me.

I am ready to eat Jamie Langenbrunner’s brainzzz and today’s Devils report on NHL on the Fly did nothing to discourage me. The Devils are systematically spiraling down an improbable slump, no better exemplified than by Langenbrunner’s abysmal numbers so far this year: 0 Goals, 6 Assists, -6 Plus/Minus, 6 PIMs, 18 SOGs and 1 PPP. 

Why does this matter to a Detroit Red Wings fan? Two words, 5 Syllables: Fantasy Hockey. For the past 3 years, #15 has been a super solid choice for a 5-6 round draft pick, and I have him on two teams this year and he is killing me- KILLING ME. I drafted him at 10, so I thought it was a bit of a steal, but also knew the Kovy factor might affect Langenbrunner’s numbers negatively. However, I was banking on the idea that the Devils would be scoring machines, as the threat of cap induced trades would put guys like No. 15 on the proverbial chopping block.  So here we are 3 weeks into the season and he is performing abysmally. Is it a team/coaching problem, or does Langenbrunner know something we don’t, and is resigned to being shipped off to some place like SJ or Atlanta?

Combine his abysmal performance with the fact that I have two other Right Wings listed “DTD” (Kopecky and Pominville) and you can see why I am sweating it.

FAULK! Every fiber of my being tells me to dump him for Andy McDonald or K. Huselius, and yet I cannot pull the plug. What would you do?

Trick or Treat? Benching Kovaluchuk.

Definitely a treat! However, I fear I am alone in this opinion, as rumors swirl like poisonous mist from a witches' ... cauldron and word spreads that Ron McClean has put his job at risk by making The Hundred Million Dollar man sit one out. Now, some might speculate that it could be an opportunistic firing, because of the problems mentioned above, but let’s play devil’s advocate. I’ll wait- you go put the costume on. Don’t forget the horns. Here’s your inspiration:

(It never gets old!)

Ok now. Coach MacLean has defended his decision by saying something I find especially eloquent. THN reports that Coach MacLean said this: “no player is above the team is at the heart of what has made the New Jersey Devils so successful over the years and was their underlying philosophy before they became one of the most dysfunctional organizations in the NHL.” (THN)

Team Maclean on this one my Trick or Treaters. Boy I feel sorry for Devils fans if ownership and management pick the star player over the coach. You might as well strap on a “I Heart Glen Sather” T-shirt and join the Ranger fans at the bottom of the league for the next 10 years, or at least until Kovy’s contract hits the light end and he can be traded or bought out for a rich man's pittance.

 Who Is That Masked Man 
And 
Please Tell Me He’s Not Wearing Tights.

Rene Bourque, fresh off DTD status racks up a hat trick in his first game back and follows up the NEXT DAY with 2 and an assist.  Pick him up in your leagues while he’s hot people, unless you are in my leagues because I already have him.

Hanzus for the Win: Kings trump Wild in OT.! Seriously, He’s a player in the NHL-and a veteran too. Rumor has it that it was really Drew Doughty, just dressed in Handzus’ uni. It could happen, you have no idea how seriously these Los Angeleans take Halloween. 

           The Hockey News GETS IT WRONG- This Is Not A Trick!

THN hits hard but misses the mark in this week’s report on the long haired athlete trend, wondering if NHL players are such huge chumps that they are following the Bieber/ Brady trend of shaggy hair.

 Bitches Please. There is only one man to whom any self respecting NHL player would pay hair homage. I give you “The Fro”:

And The Girl In The Back Said, Boy I Ought To Warn You 
It’ll Turn Into A Ballroom Blitz.

Anyone buying Tricky Dick Rypien’s apology? I hate to say it but I am not. While I am proud of the fact that excluding guys like Chris Simon, the NHL’s bad, criminal and subhuman behaviors problems don’t rival those of the NFL or the NBA-

And while I also think the guy who got grabbed is a total teabagging Deuce,

I don’t think a scripted apology is good enough, nor do I believe this to be anymore sincere than an Avery’s Sloppy Second Speech. I do think the fines and a 6 game suspension is a reasonable start to punishment that falls in line with the NHL’s history on such matters.

Most importantly, some smart bloggers have been critical of the 6 game suspension comparing it to the lesser suspensions doled out for brutal on-ice headshots, inadvertently making the argument that 6 games was too steep.  They argue that that its wrong to more seriously punish players for bad off-ice behavior than for actions that would amount to criminal assault with a deadly weapon if they took place anywhere but on ice, in the scope of regulation. While I am inclined to agree that the disparity is disconcerting, I am not in total agreement with these people. 

What Juice? You are queen of the NO HEADSHOT-NO CONCUSSIONS Bandwagon.

Don’t get your fight strap in a bunch people, I have not jumped ship…

Fact is, the NHL hasn’t strayed from its protocol or precedent in the Rypien punishment. History provided a road map for the league and thankfully there are only 3-4 previous incidents that make up that road map. Attacking a fan is really only something that happens if you are a Hanson Brother or once every 10 years.

Following precedent, maintaining a system of cohesive disciplinary rules, with impartial, uniform application is very important to the effectiveness of the NHL’s “legal” system.

Without uniform application of the rules and punishments we give license for a Ballroom Blitz. However…

Holloween Costume Idea For Commissioner Bettman: A Goal, A Stick And Terry Sawchuck’s Old Pads.

We can also argue that the NHL hasn’t majorly strayed from protocol or precedent in suspensions issued this year for on-ice headshots.  However, there is a fatal flaw in Mr. Campbell’s system and blind reliance on the crutch that is precedent for the on-ice criminality that isn’t going away until the league sends a clear signal.

Precedent should only be influential, and applied uniformly and consistently when the rules have not changed.

The rules are supposed to have changed. There is ample evidence in the medical and scientific communities that concussions are permanently debilitating to professional athletes in ways that compel all sports leagues with full body contact to treat as seriously as a heart attack, or steroid use. Don’t get me started on the fact that it is the NFL who is leading the charge on this matter, a truth beyond worrisome and disturbing when you think of all the NHL heads regularly hitting ice in thin plastic helmets.

The NHL presents a façade of caring about head shots and dirty play, but in its minimal punishment of these actions, and the excuses it continually relies upon to argue that there is difficulty policing such brutality, the league sends its clearest signal:

If a tree falls in the crease, and Campbell wasn’t on ice and didn’t see it, it didn’t happen.

The way the NHL continues to punish dirty players for on ice brutality is archaic, and does not reflect or support the current system of rules, making a mockery of the purportedly concerned façade that is the face of the NHL.

By continuing to dole out 1-2 game suspensions for dirty hits and headshots, the NHL continues to send a clear message to players, fans, that it will not take headshots, dirty play and the epidemic of concussions seriously.

And that is sofaking wrong, it makes me want to put G. Bettman in goal with Terry Sawchuck’s padding and let guys like Steve Moore, Andreas Lilja, and Adam Deadmarsh take a bazillion shots on him.

NOT A Trick: Juice is Moving her Hockey Blogs to a Very Cool Website.

Its true kids. Look. Sure I write these things as if someone is actually reading them, but I know the truthy-ism. And I can handle it. So I am joining up with 13-20 of my favorite Hockey bloggers, most of whom have an audience about the size of mine and we are forming a consortium in the crease, to bring you all our unique, awesome, hilarious and hopefully compelling perspectives and accounts of the world of Hockey as we know it. We might not gain a bigger audience, but at least we can amuse each other. Before the end of the month, look for this, and other amazing hockey blogs at Hockey Recon. It will be well worth your time and quite possibly the best collective of hockey writers you will come across on the net.

Happy Halloween Puckheads!