If your as sick as me you’ve been obsessed since the trade deadlines.
And now you have 4 straight days of unscheduled time. I know you are feeling a little shell shocked with all this free time, maybe even a little lost, Jones-ing for a hockey fix, and no way to get one. Well my friends, with only 4 wins away, our playoff season is (too quickly) coming to a close, and we should probably use this brief break to reacquaint ourselves with the real world- sort of a short quick immersion, like shoving your head into a bucket of ice water. Just to remind yourself that one day in the next few weeks you’ll wake up and the first thing on your mind won’t be “I can’t wait for the game tonight!”, its likely to be “Crap there is no game tonight, what the H-E-Double-Hockey-Sticks am I gonna do?” So to help you (and not so coincidentiallly to occupy my “free time”) I came up with this list of things you might do between today and Game 1 of the Finals:
1. Count down the days until training camp starts.
2. West Coast fans: Put in some extra time at work to make up for all those days you had “offsite visits” that corresponded with 4:30 P.M. puck drops.
3. Call your wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, husband – don’t get mad if they don’t recognize your voice.
4. Take off your playoff shirt- just for a few days. Wash all your red wing gear- unless you’re superstitious.
5. Take that ridiculous infant sized Osgood sweater off of the cat.
6. Go to the gym (Ha ha just kidding!)
7. Paste photos of Melrose, Doc Emerick, Jones and Olczyc and Engblom onto different areas of a dart board, hang board over your TV, play along with the game: Throw a dart at the corresponding announcer each time he says something negative about the Red Wings, or when they praise the Pens when the Wings do something good. Put Don Cherry in the center of the board, throw a dart at the bulls eye every time the Wings score. (two points if every time you hit Cherry you yell “Hit the bull win a steak”)
8. Build your own “MO’ Cheese” Hat, wear it around the neighborhood until your spouse yells at you.
9. Test your dog, see if he really believes you when you shake his leash and say “go for a walk big guy?” If he growls, he no longer recognizes you.
10. Print funny pictures of the Crosby, Hossa and Fleury, cut out heads, tape them to your blue foosball players; Print cool pictures of Homer, Dats Zetts, Mule and Ozzy, tape them to your red foosball players; sponsor your own mini Stanley Cup playoffs.
11. Write blogs about the Red Wings, because you just aren’t ready to let go of the day to day and you want to stay tough, sharp and “in the game”
12. Read blogs about the Red Wings because you just aren’t ready to let go of the day to day and you want to stay tough, sharp and “in the game”
13. Pretend you aren’t watching “Dancing with the Stars” If you get caught, tell them you just wanted to see Jason Taylor “Pop and Lock”.
14. Practice your face painting- come up with something more exciting than one white side one red side.
15. Build your own backyard penalty box, tell your kids if they misbehave during the finals, they are getting two minutes.
16. Make huge Get Well Card for Franzen, make all your co-workers sign it, send it to the Mule.
17. Cheer Pistons on!
18. Check to see if your lawn has gotten longer than neighbors, if so, accuse him of not being a loyal enough fan. Paint face for lawn mowing duties.
19. Endlessly troll the ticket scalping websites and dream about being able to be there at the Joe, Section 108 ten rows up for Game 1.
Good Luck my friends!
Originally Posted on Wednesday May 21, 2008 @ 12:37 AM EDT at http://fans.nhl.com/members/JuiceinLA/blogs/14876
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