Red Wings Early Season Report Card: This means nothing to nobody, no how, no sir.
I’m here to state the obvious and tell you that so far this season the Red Wings have been stinking it up. Plain and simple. Their mediocre 3-1-1 record in no way represents the team I watched dominate the league last year.
And that is why, thus far into the 08-09 season, the Wings are getting a collective grade of C from Professor Juice (or “Jooce”, as some of you prefer).
A very generous C.
What, what what? Did Juice lose her Red Tinted Glasses???? Man, I gotta see where this goes, before she finds them again.
Fine, here is my Red Wing Report Card for the first 5 games:
The Wings Home Opener against the Leafs, Leafs win 3-2: Grade: D-
This is the only game that I truly expected to win this year. NOOOO- I am not saying I expected the Men in Red to lose all other games. (I mean really. Please. What do you take me for a maroon?)
I’m saying that while I do expect my boys to win close to 55-60 games this year, I don’t have any expectations concerning any individual game, I make no predictions about a particular game’s outcome itself.
Ok ok I DO expect to win next Monday, October 27th against the Kings- but that is because I will be 13 rows up behind the bench, and damnit the boys better win one for me….I don’t ask for much, just that and the Stanley Cup in ‘09. And a Pony!!! A pretty paint pony with red and white ribbons in her mane…
OH! And if you could please turn the Sharks into chum in January boys, (I’ll be there for you at that game too! Do it for JOOCE! ). Otherwise, I’m wearing Teal on January 18th. While you’re at it, beat the Ducks too, as many times as possible. Doesn’t have to be a league scheduled/ sanctioned game, just dole out random beat downs please.
But back to the topic at hand, the Stanley Cup Champs should have won their home opener. Bottom line: no excuse. They looked like they hadn’t seen a puck since June 4th, they didn’t come into the game with any of the fire or intensity of a SCC team. They were gawdawful slow, appeared to be asleep and at times lost. The turnovers were inexcusable and Ozzie looked like he was in dire need of a quick poke, um, check. (perhaps a cattle prod) I haven’t seen so much action in our own zone since – well I actually can’t recall when I’ve seen so much play in the Wings zone. Toronto played the Wings own game to perfection and it showed. They deserved to win.
One reporter actually had the “noive” to suggest the loss was attributable to “nerves”. Ahem. Nerves are never an acceptable excuse. I simply refuse to accept that such a state of emotion can affect this team. Rather, I think they lost because they expected to win. Underestimating a reputedly “bad” team in the beginning of the season is what my Wings were guilty of doing on October 9, 2008. And it should have been a wake up call, but it really wasn’t. And the reason I say that is…
3-2 Wings Over Ottawa Grade: C-
The turnovers – some of which qualified as assists for Ottawa make this only a slightly better game than the Home Opener. At least they won, but only because someone finally let the mule out of the barn.
Johan Franzen finally did what he does best: Capitalizes on the opportunity when all other attention is focused on his line mates. I have often been tempted to say that Johan just needs to learn that he doesn’t have to wait for his team mates to step up before offering his contributions, but that is not what is going on here. The Mule is an extraordinary talent, as deadly and focused as Hank and Dats- maybe not as fast or deft with puck handling, but having him on your line is like having a book end. Other teams have to make a bad choice: Go after Z and you let the Mule kick the barn door down. Bridle the Mule and Z is gonna hit it everytime.
If Dats and Hossa ever get that sort of chemistry going, there will be no stopping our first two lines.
Ozzie: Though Ozzie had some remarkable saves, he also “cleared” the puck to Ottawa’s Foligno, giving him the goal and executing what is one of the most annoying assists in the history of hockey.
Yes I saw the glove save in the third, but no. No way no how. I’m not giving Ozzie any credit right now. Chris Osgood has a chance to shut the naysayers up once and for all this season, to establish himself as a legendary goaltender and silence the critics. He has the opportunity to prove to all the simpletons and short term memory specialists that a man, 35 years of age can entirely re-invent himself and come back harder, better, faster, stronger- can even be as impressive as Dana Torres’ Olympic run (er, swim). Ozzie has the opportunity to firmly establish himself as one of the all time greats, not just by the numbers (which he already has done- fyi) but in the public eye and opinion. All he has to do is play a full 60 minutes each game every game.
And he needs to do this for another reason too. He needs to take his elder statesman role on the team with Lids and Drapes and Malts and Cheli and Mac, and lead by example. Show these kids that you learn discipline and intensity can be held a full game.
3-1 Wings over Hurricanes: Grade B+. (Conkblocking!)
I’m generously giving this win a B+ for two reasons: 1. Homer’s incredible and consistent season start – impressing me to no end; 2. Ty Conklin’s game, which was a thing of beauty. Some of his saves were simply outrageous (that 2 on 1 in the second and that late third walk in by Kaberle- Holy Cowpuck!) Most importantly he provided fans with immense relief that our back up will be such a solid Red Wing contributor. (He must have heard that we are brutal on our goalies)….
Conklin gave the sort of “I-am-so-fricking-excited-to-be-a-part-of-a-SCC-team-and-am-gonna-prove-I-belong” performance you hope to see from guys traded onto the team in March…Bravo Conkblocker! (I can’t take credit for this kickarse nickname- JLEWings came up with it during the game and I loved it so much, I asked her if I could use it.)
And FYI- I love that Babs put him in a game early in the season. I think it speaks volumes as to what our coach thinks about his talent. Either that or it was a wake up call to Ozzie. Hopefully a little of both. Babs did say he plans to try and play Ozzie Conkblocker on a 2-1 ratio…
I also liked that Hossa and Rafalski seem to be jelling quite well, the Homer, Hossa, Rafs goal in the second was textbook Tic Tack Toe baby!
This was by far the most representative game of the season so far, but they still didn’t look like SC Champions. Our power play never got started and we had tons of opportunity to execute. Frankly this score should have been much more lopsided, especially since one of our goals was an empty netter. HEDHS it should have been a BCS Blowout… (Bowl Championship Series Blowout: yea, yea I know I’m referring to the reward college football teams get for running a score up in the BCS, but what can I say, it works.)
Anyone else besides me notice that Z is the only guy on our team that can hit the empty netter? You might not think that’s such a skill, but the ability to hit it from the neutral zone/ opposing team’s zone or to clear traffic enough for a breakaway makes an empty netter a pretty darn good accomplishment in my book.
You might be tempted to say that Z has been less than Connsmythian this season so far, but you’d be dead wrong because he was likely feeling that groin injury, and yet he still came out and played with everything he could give.
B+. And a generous one at that.
4-3 Canuck over Wings: Grade D. Plain and simple.
Second loss at home, abysmal performances, or worse non existent performances by some of our greats. Our third frickin’ game where the Wings lead the game for almost 60 minutes and 13 turnovers? Was this a hockey game or a pie eating contest between Ralph and the Fonz? Sit on it Potsie! Which is exactly what the Wings did….
Now- even though I’m being harsh with the grading I do recognize that the frustrating “sit on a lead” style of play of which the Wings are famous for which, may in fact be our own incredibly masochistic game of Cat and Mouse.
Hey! There they are!!!! Wait one minute folks while I don my trademark red tinted glasses to express this point of view. Ok good, here we go:
One could say, argue, hypothesize, even, that my Red Wings are just so fantastic that they have to do these things, like give up a comfortable lead, in order to stay interested in the game…
Sadly, someone scratched my left lens so that I think that while I could have fully supported that argument last spring with complete confidence (and only a touch of arrogance), this 08-09 team does not look like its toying with its prey. It looks like its working for its goals, and once it gets them, reverting into its Cat and Mouse stylee only to find itself in overtime or a loss.
Boys, if your gonna play Cat and Mouse, you still have to kill the prey before you leave the ice.
Also, I was expecting more out of my boy Darren Helm. DMan I KNOW it sucks to get sent back down to GR after last year’s post season, but bro- you gotta work on being mentally prepared to overcome when you are called up. You are valuable, you are loved and you are important to this organization’s future- I want to see you score every damn game you get called up for! Don’t let me down again.
I mean it.
(like how I did that? As if the italics imply that I can be deadly serious and threatening.)
5-4 Wings over Rangers: Grade C
Well I didn’t see this one, so I have to be brief. I give them a C because they won and knocked New York off their undefeated streak. Otherwise I suspect the comments to the games above still apply. Even though Hossa got his first goal off a pass from Datsyuk, I think we still are waiting to see if they jell. I am going to be closely watching how other teams are trying to shut Datsyuk down in the next few games to see if this is simply a matter of Hossa needing to take a page from Homer’s play book.
And again with a 3-1 lead well into the second, the Wings sat back and almost unsuccessfully played Cat and Mouse.
I briefly wondered if this rather haphazard season start had anything to do with the fact thus far Wings have mostly played Eastern Conference teams. Perhaps these mediocre exhibitions are a result of being unfamiliar with the style, or maybe that because these games don’t matter (point-wise), the Wings have not played up to snuff. Then I said “OH NO JOOCE, don’t you start making excuses too, that is pathetic.”
Final Grade for the Wings first 5 games: C. Sigh
Having said all of this, Red Wing haters and detractors should sit on their gleeful yet baseless comments-such as those predictions that the Wings will be beaten in the first round of the playoffs (you know who you are).
And Red Wings fans should stop be asking themselves: Is there cause to worry? Are they nursing Cup hangover? Why is everyone getting injured? When will the Red Giant wake up and what does the season (so far) mean???
Because it means nothing, nada, zip, ziltch, ingent, ничто, nic, nolla, ei lainkaan. So far the Wings have shown nobody nothing yet.
Its 5 games people, come on! What can you possibly expect to learn/speculate on in 5 games?
Well, actually there are a few things I think we can learn from these first 5 games.
Homer and the Mule are on track to have stellar seasons, in part as a result of the fact that they get to play on lines with Dats and Z. But make no mistake their talent is real and deadly and they leave opposing teams with very little options.
We have a solid back up in Conkblocker and this makes our collective goaltending the most deadly in the league.
Ozzie is clearly burdened by Cat and Mouse syndrome. But he ain’t the only one and the Wings had better get their mojo going if they really expect to successfully execute their Cat and Mouse stylee throughout this year…because teams are gunning for the SCCs and aren’t gonna let up.
Finally we can learn that even though our boys in red have only earned a “C” in Professor Jooce’s grade book so far, she still wears her red tinted glasses and though she should stop referring to her self in the third person she is quite convinced that nothing she has seen so far is indicative of anything. Sort of like this blog….
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