Friday, January 23, 2009

Breaking Red Wing News: Pasha and Nico's Dr. Speaks

I have just received an email from the Medicine Man to whom the Wings turn to cure all their aliments, and he is TORKED!


Here is the content of his email to me:

Dear Ms. Juice Inla,

I am at home with my two dogs and 6 feet of snow here in Bloomfield Hills, Michigan watching the NHL Network. The biased, Wing bashing homerism has finally gotten to me and I can take the abuse no more. I write to you, hoping you can get the word out to the Red Wing nation.

Right there on NHL Network the announcers – without any facts, relying on innuendo and speculation have just said “We know Sid is hurt, he had an MRI, but there is question as to whether Nic Lidstrom and Pavel Datsyuk are injured.”

I am incensed and outraged at the league and its media talent. It is a team’s perogative to keep injuries quiet. Keeping injuries quiet prevents thugs on opposing teams from looking for known weaknesses and further injuring the player.


Given the way the Wings were beaten and abused last week on the West Coast, its absurd to think they all aren’t injured in some way.

Pronger and Shelly, along with Dustin Brown, pounded Pavel Datsyuk for a week, each time without penalty. During the Sharks game we thought Shelley was trying to break Datsyuk’s hand.

So while I, as their esteemed Doctor, will not reveal the nature of the injuries suffered by Nicklas Lidstrom and Pavel Datsyuk, I assure you they exist.

Suspending players for taking care of their health? What a league. This is reminiscent of grade school bully mentality.


And if that is the mentality we are dealing with, then this letter shall serve as a “Doctor note” for Nicklas Lidstrom and Pavel Datsyuk. They are injured cannot play in this weekends All Star game.

Sincerely,

Dr. Ramani

This lampoon blog has been sponsored by Dr. Ramani Eyecare, with 4 locations throughout the Metro Detroit area. Pavel Datsyuk trusts his eyes to Dr. Ramani and so should you.


Originally Posted on Friday January 23, 2009 @ 09:12 PM EST at http://fans.nhl.com/members/JuiceinLA/boards/27511

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